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Wednesday, March 8th, 2006
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11:07 am - man!
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finally.. i've been soo out of the picture again! I moved out.. I really did it..i've been talking and talking about it forever,. and i finally have my own little place. it's a single.. pretty good sized. and it's all mine. i can go to bed whenever i want.. i can put beer in the fridge and if i don't drink it it stays there.
I'm feeling so much better.. like a load has been lifted off my shoulders.
I have soo much to talk about but i am still pushed for time right now.. i'm sure things will settle down soon. i hope.
i also went vegan. real fun.
i want a cheese covered steak.
right now.
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(9 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, July 28th, 2005
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11:20 am - my friend vodka.
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we played our show last night.. it went real well.. and i say that even though we had some tech probs and had to stop with two songs to go! It still went really well and people liked it and YAY! i was really happy!
well, until afterwards. I started drinking the vodka. STRAIT UP! I had a lot. ....i was talking to this friend of mine and she was asking me about my relationships and i mentioned how crazy i was about this one boy and then she goes "then why aren't you WITH him". well, someone speaking commen sense sorta set me off...
that combined with the booze.. i ended up telling everyone last night that i was going to kill my self and i wanted to go home and slit my wrists. Then i apparently told this boy that i said i was crazy about that i was "threw" with him. (i din't remember that--he told me this morning that i said that.). then i remember coming home and trying to stab my arm (no where near my wrists) with a butter knife. then i ate some cheese quesadilas (yumyumyum!!) and went to bed.
the end.
let's not let that happen again!
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, July 25th, 2005
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10:51 am - yay
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so, i'm all stoked about wendesday... we're going to be playing ournew stuff for the first time live. Yippie. It's a little daunting cause we're at 10:30-- the middle of the evening.. and surrounded by full rock bands.. and we are going to get on stage..just the two of us.. and give a big fuck you and play our shit. It should be something or rather. I'm just dying to play out actually.. and get this ball rolling. It's hard to modivate my guitarist to move forward with this project. I feel like the work load is on me. LAME
http://www.misunderstoodmonsters.com
listen if you haven't..
whatelse.. i finally got some sleep last night.. was loosing my mind from all these morning shifts..the whole weekend was a loss because of it.. i HAVE to stop working 5 am on sat and sunday!
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, July 14th, 2005
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10:26 am - stream of misspelled conciousness...
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we got ina big fight.. hell, i dunno if it was a fight or not cause it was full of valid points, about our relationship.. and there was a conclusion in the end.
so, i live with someone who has serious anger managment issues. He;s always mad..mad at the world, at the construction outside, at his job , at the traffic, at musicians that are sucsessful when he's not, mad at this , mad at that, mad at EVERYTHING.
he gets depressed and bumms around watching tv, getting stoned, he goes to bed angry, he wakes up angry. BUT when he's in a good mood,.. he's FUN to be with.
but that's not all the time, or the majority of the time. Default is MAD and SAD.
I'm one of the most upbeat people.. i don't get mad over the piddly things in life, i'm optimistic.. but also insecure..so the negative energy around me is grating and causes me to think it's ME that's the problem.
He keeps saying he KNOWs he needs help with the anger issues.. but like with everything about his life he SAYS he is going to work on or fi, it's just talk. He's 38 years old.. if he hasn't started taking initiative to fix the problems in himself.. or at least seek an outside party to fix things.. he's not gonna!
the end of the whole things was him saying that we each have our issues and maybe he and i arent a good combo cause we can't handle eachothers issues.
i keep thinking I my move out.
it all makes sense.. i never felt like this guy was the one but the prospect of giving up on a relationship makes me feel icky. i keep thinking --everyone has thier problems, and no one is perfect all the time and if i can't make THIS relationship work--if i give up on this. doesn't that just make me a relationship quitter? what's to think i won't quit on anyone.
i've been told the guy i'm with is an extreme.. and maybe that's it.. i have some serious issues about relatioships to the point i want to try to make a relationship work with someone who is CLEARLY unstable to prove something to myself.
god--it's weird.. i've never lived with someone, has a serious relationship before.. it's real strange when it gets to the point where you love someone and want to make them happy and WANT it to work and realize, that maybe you both just dont belong together--i mean, this all outside of seeking professional help.
WHICH as been sugested. Rob needs counseling (and PAXIL, but that's besides the point) i think the only way this relationship is salvagable is if we seek outside help, but like i said, he's never made a move to change anything in his life in all his years-- and maybe i should realize he's not now.. and i'm not going to solve this.. and i need to move on.
current mood:  depressed
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, July 12th, 2005
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4:30 pm - A tofu dog!
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I always love it when something with no meat looks like this.
I made this..
and i ate it!!!
mm..smart dog!
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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4:13 pm - time for an update..
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as usual.. i disappear for a while.. things have been buisy! we booked a show! so, now it's a mad rush to get everything together for it, and practice practice practice!! I'm so excited about this.. I'm so ready to play out and this is some new music that i like alot better than anything we've done.. and i just feel so much more confortable with it that it's going to be so great to play it..
we finally got mp3's of a few of the songs up on the internet.. you can go hear them http://www.misunderstoodmonsters.com
I'd love some feed back on them!
whatelse.. ohh..nothing really.. just living the same fucked up lifestyle i've created for me.. here's some pictures...
..me and the love of my life~
( Read more... )
current mood:  lazy
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(10 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, June 30th, 2005
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9:01 am
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tonight tonight// i am leaving for SF in a few hours.. going to dark sparkle tonight.. i guess.. hmm.. should be something.. it's all foggy and cold here in santa monica today..it's like prepaing me to go to the city.. i can't wait..
i'm sure i'll take a million pictures!
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, June 23rd, 2005
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11:51 pm - yay
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good news good news...
well, for me..
well, i think it is..
i get to go visit beauitful san francisco next weekend. well, i'm going up on the 30th and coming back the 2nd.
my best friend, mandy and i are staying at the pheonix and we are going to sit around sip cocktails and then go out on the town!!
god-- i can't wait. i wannna see my city!!
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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| Saturday, June 18th, 2005
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5:35 pm
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| Friday, June 17th, 2005
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7:18 pm - how people change.
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i wouldn't even THINK this was Tina Root in one thousand million years.
i sometimes wonder how different I look from previous years... I mean, granted there is nothing more annoying than running into people you knew "back when" and find out they look EXACTLY the same.. that is just creepy.. or even worse.. a tore up EXACT version of what they were like.. but it's also REAALY freaky when you wouldn't even recognize them if they passed you on the street.
here's to the happy medium!
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(9 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, June 8th, 2005
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12:22 pm - yep
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i'm in a nasty rotten mood today.. maybe it's cause i had to work at 5 am.. i should take a nap. but instead im just sitting here.. thinking ill thoughts about everyone (oh, not you though!).. just, blah.. for no reason.
so, about my bad thoughts unto others..how come, even though i'm in a relationship i like.. and i may not WANT to be with.... say ...MR. X. I still am pissed off that Mr. X is happy inlove. I want Mr. X to be miserable. I want Mr X to never fidn love, sit at home.. wish he had me.. and be all pathetic. Yeah. that's right! What an awful thing to think!! I must be just cranky. .. cause i just want everyone to fail.. at everything. (oh! 'cept you! :) and ME!)
xxx
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, June 7th, 2005
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10:23 am - ..
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| Sunday, June 5th, 2005
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6:47 pm - yeah yeah
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remember when i was all BROWN is the new REd for hair colour? yeah-- I KNEW that fancy would pass fast.. now.. yeah, now i'm back to black..
whatever
( Read more... )
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(11 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, June 3rd, 2005
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12:10 pm
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| Monday, May 23rd, 2005
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8:34 pm - well!!
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tomorrow i will be in maui--or rather , ON maui.
By this time tomorrow evening i'll be drunk off foofy tropical cocktails!
Ill be there for about a week ( few days more...)
i'm sure there will be a million pictures to see when i get back.. FUN FUN..
xoxox
aloha
current mood:  giddy
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 19th, 2005
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10:05 am - ..
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| Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
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10:15 am - regressing...
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i was told by a very close friend that it's like i'm in regression when it comes to how i deal with relationships. As if..where most people get old and bitter and more closed off.. as if all their experiences have taught them to close their heart.. Im like.. going th opposite way. The older i get .. the more emotionally involved i become in all my relationships.. the more fantastical my ideas of what can be are.
Can someone explain that?
All my youth i've been very good and staying emotionally OUT of any relationship.. real "don't give TOO much of a shit" attitude. Very easy going. I never used to cause a fuss. Never demand anything of anyone..
NOW! oh god.! i'm an emotional wreck constantly demanding ridiculous things of the men in my life (and that's not even including my boyfriend!), i cry at everything.. i believe in forever and true love and all that mushy gushy stuff, I giggle like a little girl and --here's the thing i never used to be-- I'm INSANELY JEALOUS! It's almost comical! . I dunno! I dunno how it all happened.
It's so strange how we all change..sometimes it seems like so gradual that it isn't much of a change.. but then you look back on where you've come from and you are like "holy shit! how did i get emotionally and spiritually HERE!"
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Monday, May 16th, 2005
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8:33 am - blah blah.
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well.... I'm drinking my liquid crack again. This one is called "THERMO HYDROXADRINE". Yeah.. i feel like i'm about to jump outta my skin and it's only 9:30am! but WHAT?!!! I can't help myself! I was off the sauce and then .. i dunno.. It's TRUE! all these freakin' diet drugs CURB appetite. and i mean.. seriously now, what girl wants one of those?!!!! I'm doing the right thing! So, stop trying to talk me down!! HEY! I said STOP!!
Well, next Tuesday. yes, i'm off to the islands! Thank god. I could use a little relaxation (i'll leave the over the counter speed at home, okay?!)! I can't wait ot be sipping cocktails outta coconuts and snorkeling with the fishies.. and after we bond in the ocean together i'm going to eat them! That's right!
I leave you now... with some rather boring photographs of a rather boring subject matter.. remember how excited i was to brown my hair? it's been two weeks (?) and well, im soo over it! Also, my hair was soo bleached before that the colour didn't take and it's fading to a lighter and lighter brown. I KNEW i should have done black and let that fade to a dark brown. I may still do it. I am soo sad at how i'm wreaking havoc on my hair! But.. but.. i HAVE to fix this? Do you think it'll fall out? ha-- i wouldn't be surprised. I'm been going Black to blond to black again, and everything in between for so long.. and it hasn't fallen out yet! it's about time.
( i digress )
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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| Thursday, May 12th, 2005
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10:24 am - boringmusicrant..
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it's offical. I'm totally obsessed with my future music career. This new stuff has become my obsession.. out of any music i've ever played before THIS feels like the best product we have to offer. It's just easier i think for people to get around..it's quite accessible and i always liked the idea of being able to sell ice to the eskimos.
( boring music rant for my own person enjoyment )
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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| Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
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4:00 pm - lalla..
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i dunno.
i thought i had something to say.. but.. alas.. i don't.. my friend popped me full of his "thermogenic" (aka caffeine) pills.. and i'm weird up and ready to .. to.. i dunno. type in some long winded journal entry about my feelings. but i have none today. hah.
or maybe so many i've canceled them all out.
( now for some offensive humor )
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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